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You can't be a Player if you don't know how to intrigue and seduce
women. After all, that's how other guys (and not women, you hope) know
you're a smooth operator — because you're often seen departing a social
occasion with a hot number on your arm. But as you know, this is just
the start.
Ideally, you'd like to make that initial pickup
push work for you again and again. It's what you do with her undivided
attention — away from prying eyes and back at your pad or hers — that
will determine just how often she'll come back for more.
Since
you can't glean these details through observation at a bar (at least,
not at the bars I go to), here's a typical evening that not only ensures
her
repeat business (or pleasure rather), but will make her want to please you from that night on.
First, the night, then the analysis.
welcome home
Upon
entering your very cozy and tasteful pad, you take her coat and offer
her some wine. While you're getting that and putting on some soft jazz,
she looks around a little. This prompts you to offer her an "
official tour," which ends back in the
living room.
You dance with her to the soothing tunes, running your hands and then
just your fingers over her back, then neck, while you take in her scent.
A kiss follows as surely as day follows night.
You move to kissing her neck, behind her ears, and under her chin, then you bite her neck gently. You compliment a
body part
of hers that you find especially attractive, then give it lots of
attention with your lips and tongue. You suggest you finish the
apartment tour, leading her into your bedroom, where you light some
waiting candles.
You undress, caress and impress...
Her breathing speeds up, you remove your shirt, then, after a while,
hers. Having moved the music to your bedroom stereo, you continue to
dance for a while, until moving on to the bed seems natural.
You massage her shoulders and neck with a scented,
edible oil
that lets you kiss and lick her on sensitive zones that don't usually
get the attention they deserve: her ankles, the backs of her knees, the
nape of her neck.
You start to tease the undersides of her
breasts with your fingertips, then her nipples with your tongue and a
slight nibble. You gradually hone in on her butt, then her
inner thighs, brushing across her vaginal lips as you move from one side to the other and back.
You suck her vaginal lips, penetrate her with your tongue, and then
move your finger inside her as your tongue moves to her clitoris.
Inside, your index finger hooks upward toward her belly button, moving
back and forth as you massage her G-spot, while you gradually increase your intensity on her clitoris in response to her reaction.
playtime
Now that she's beyond "warmed up" and has actually reached "hot and bothered," you fetch some
ice cubes and let them melt as you trace them across her body.
The suspense has peaked and she can't stand it anymore. You tease her
vagina with your member, and then finally enter her. In keeping with the
mood, you keep it slow for a while, occasionally changing positions
from front to rear to side entries. After so much warming up, you enjoy
an extensive session of lovemaking.
the sexual breakdown
Now let's examine what you did to make her so hot.
1- You arrive groomed
Before you ever have sex, make sure you're properly groomed
and smell good. It all starts there and frankly, none of what follows
will work if you stink. If you've just come from work or aren't feeling
100% about the odors you're emitting, you can always suggest that you
start things off with a shower (this is not recommended on the first
sexual encounter).
2- You set the mood with music
Music is key, and jazz or trance music
are generally your best bets. These musical genres make you look both
cultured and sensitive, and you can vary the type depending on the woman
and the particular evening's mood. In general, don't choose anything
too jarring: some
Billie Holiday
or soothing sax from the swing era (Lester Young, Ben Webster, Coleman
Hawkins) are general lady pleasers, as are any of the CDs from the Serve
Chilled series. The music will not only put her in the mood, it will
muffle her moans, making her feel less shy to do so and enjoy the
experience even more.
3- You compliment her
An original physical compliment is very powerful, but mean what you say.
You lit those candles, used your hands and ate your pie...
4- You caress her with your palms and fingertips
The back and neck are very sensitive areas and great erogeneous entry points.
Caressing and massaging such entry points is key to being a gentleman
and heightening sensitivity in more explicitly sexual areas.
5- You dim the lights/light candles
This will help her if she's self-conscious about her body, not to
mention that candlelight is just plain romantic any way you slice it.
6- You undress slowly
By this I mean that you pull articles of clothing off slowly (socks
first), and you don't rush to do so. There's something very sexy about
being all worked up but still partly clothed. Also, she'll be much more
comfortable removing clothes that seem to be getting in the way rather
than acting as protection.
7- You massage her
Like caressing, massaging proves you like her body so much that you want to touch it all over — not to mention that it feels great.
8- You give her oral pleasure
Women love guys who love to
Move in to the area gently and softly, and make sure to respond to her.
It's okay to ask her about her preferences, especially for less
demonstrative women.
9- You get kinky
Blindfolds, ice cubes over her nipples (or wherever you want to excite
her), feather tickling, and tying her up are all options. Be your
intriguing self and you'll pique her interest to try out new things.
10- You keep intercourse interesting
While you obviously know there's much more than just the missionary
position, don't be too eager to try every position in rapid succession
and record time. Remember that women get turned on by repetitive rhythm —
just like men, but more so. If you change positions too frequently,
she'll never have the chance to get into it.
It often turns out
that a position that's good for one partner is good for the other — the
physical sensations and excitement are mutually stimulating. You'll know
when you've found that sweet spot. Go with it for a while.
One
such position that I've found often leads to a sweet and intense spot is
the Supported Doggy Stretch. To get into this position, your woman
starts off in the doggy position. Place your hands on her waist and lift
her legs up so that she can wrap her feet around your butt (for a
picture of this position and many others, sign up to The Players's Lounge).
Although this may be difficult at first, the sensations this position
provides are enough to keep you going, or coming, as the case may be. In
this position, I recommend that you penetrate her slowly and deeply.
11- You make her orgasm
Remember that for women, the mind is the biggest erogenous zone.
Compliments or comments that show her desirability, such as: "I've
wanted to do this since I first saw you/all evening" will turn her on.
If she doesn't orgasm from penetration alone (and of course many women don't), you can always manually stimulates her clitoris while you penetrate her from behind.
in the End.
All
of this is just one possible scenario, and obviously you have to be
able to improvise. Those who cannot are simply not player material. But
the underlying message is that, just like investing, if you give a lot
at the beginning, the interest will come easily enough. Remember; givers
get asked back and often end up getting their fair share too.
During a recent Halloween-inspired episode of The Queen Latifah Show, the 43-year-old came out dressed as the media mogul in a curly wig and red dress.
She is known for being a fan of all things big, bold and beautiful.
